Alas! Pakistan Is An Honourable Nation (Satire)

| Updated: 19 October, 2021 5:00 pm IST

Poor Pakistan! Can you not find a teardrop in your heart for Pakistan? Do they not melt your heart away?  Be it grooming of terrorists or using them as state policy under the guise of non-state actors to create chaos in the neighbouring Afghanistan, India and Iran, they certainly are deserving of sympathy. My heart bleeds for Pakistan.

In 1948, Pakistan flouted their agreement and took over an independent State of Balochistan after a brutal massacre of the local population, which continues unabated till today. Tens of thousands have disappeared and many have been killed under the tyranny and brutal suppression of the Pakistan army. They continue to loot the mineral wealth to enrich the elite of Pakistan and their Chinese counterparts. But Pakistan says they are victimised by the Baloch movement and certainly Pakistan would not lie as Pakistan is an honorable nation!

After the defeat of the Pakistani army and liberation of Bangladesh from the Pakistani army who committed genocide of the local Bengalis, Zulfiqar Bhutto supported the Islamist movement of Afghanistan in 1973 to destabilise the nation as well as use it as strategic depth for Pakistan.  Fast forward a few years, these mujahedeen outfits were sold to the highest bidder, the US, but now Pakistan claims Taliban was created by the US to fight USSR and they were only pawns. I am not sure how much of money had been made in these last fifty years by the crème’ de la crème’ of Pakistan – may be running to the tune of tens of billions of dollars; but I want to believe Pakistan, as it an honorable nation!

After the fall of the Soviet Union, Pakistan sent their idle mercenaries to Kashmir to wreak havoc.  All in the name of fighting for Kashmir but the irony is that Pakistan only cared for a dead Kashmiri.  Pakistan was getting paid by the Western powers which the army conveniently used to enrich themselves and create more Frankensteins.  But Pakistan continues to peddle they are victims of terrorism and I want to believe Pakistan as it is an honorable nation!

After having started the wars with India and lost all, Pakistan splurges on defense equipment as they market the constant threat of an attack by India. The military industrial complex which runs all businesses barring defense pockets billions each year while the impoverished nation becomes poorer by the day.  A poor nation with a rich army brings tears to one’s eyes and I want to believe their existential threat as Pakistan is an honorable nation!

Pakistan is the Disneyland of UN’s most decorated terrorists but Pakistan never perceives any security threat. Cricketing teams from New Zealand and England have cancelled tours based on assessed security threats and Punjab police had also put out a notice of potential threat to the New Zealand team.  But the media and the PCB are busy blaming the Indian cricket establishment, the Australians, Kiwis and the English for their greed to participate in IPL. Pakistan and its ruling class have been plundering the wealth all these years and suddenly the newly minted Chairman of the PCB berates the players of other countries for having lost their cricketing DNA as they are only focused on money.  The irony is so thick but I still want to feel sorry as Pakistan is an honorable nation!

(Sundar Narayan is a satirist)

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